Updated: Dec 16, 2020
I think we’ve all heard the preaching that forgiveness sets you free. I used to think this was a nice concept, a fanciful notion that wasn’t realistic.
Little did I know that years later it would be something I would apply to my own life out of necessity. I needed relief and freedom. I felt the heaviness of my pain that had manifested in my body, the weight felt dark and compacted. I could literally feel that dark energy stagnant in my body. I wanted to free myself of this blackness inside my heart. Once I was conscious of the heaviness weighing me down, I started noticing forgiveness popping up all around me. I believe everything is brought into our lives for a reason at the right time, however I also believe that we can shift our attention and our life focus.
If I’m focused on wanting to clear this dark energy, then I will be more aware of that around me. Our energy goes where we focus our attention. The word forgiveness was coming up in songs, in books I was reading, in others speaking about it. I knew I had to pay attention and learn more about it.
"Our energy goes where we focus our attention."
My research showed me that the forgiveness wasn’t to say that what had happened was ok, or that it would be forgotten. No, the forgiveness was a way for me to let go and release myself of the pain. I also learnt that I didn’t even need to contact the person from my past that I was forgiving because my words were for me. This was for me!
Forgive myself first
It all started making sense to me, and I thought about that person that had done me wrong and realized they weren’t carrying around this weight, they weren’t suffering daily as I was, they were living a life blissfully unaware I was in pain. That was the final piece that cemented to me I needed to forgive for my own life, soul, heart.
“The forgiveness was for my freedom.”
I forgave myself first, for feeling guilty for carrying this darkness for so many years. I forgave myself for not knowing better in my past, and understood that I did the best I could with what I knew at the time. I then used this same premise to forgive those that had wronged me. That they too were only doing the best they could at the time. I took a deep inhale and on that next exhale I felt a shift in my energy, the darkness wasn’t as thick. I kept going. I forgave the person who had hurt the one who wronged me, knowing that hurt people – hurt others.
This was a pathology, passed down through generations, that is how most pain and suffering is. We learn and experience it usually at a very young age, so unaware of the imprint that was being left on our hearts. Not only until we were adults did we realize the impact our younger years had on us. I forgave my ancestors and visualized hugging them all in an embrace filled of healing energy and love. Perhaps the love they never received as children and therefore never knew how to express it, again passing that down to the next generation.
Find the brightness inside
I exhaled, and with it the blackness was expelled from my body. I was on a roll now and pictured my life in a timeline, and began forgiving everyone that came to mind, past friends, strangers, anyone that I experienced pain from. I forgave each and every one of them, and wished them well as I didn’t want them to carry their pain any longer either. I knew this was the answer I was searching for, this was the secret that had been available to me all of my life, I just wasn’t ready to absorb it back then. By forgiving all that had come before me, I felt a brightness inside of me, I felt a lightness and freedom that they no longer had control of me.
I felt my heart had been reset and was ready to love wholeheartedly, knowing that I had this tool to forgive and set myself free whenever I needed to. I now know that forgiveness lead me to true love, and allowed me to love myself on a profound and beautiful level I’d never experienced before.
Forgiveness is for yourself, not for the other person. You will set yourself free and that will allow you to embrace love.