Have you ever broken a promise you’ve made to yourself? If so, what consequences did you enforce? We have double standards when it comes to keep promises with others than with ourselves.
We are usually the toughest critics of ourselves. But I guess the underlying question to pose is why did we not fulfill the commitment we originally made to ourselves? I think most people have high expectations when it comes to holding others accountable. With their word, in doing what you said you were going to do. It’s interesting why we can’t keep that standard for our self.
When you take stock of your life and the important parts you treasure, do you sometimes come across aspects that are not consistent? For example, you would like to live a long life with your family and believe that fitness and wellbeing is crucial in achieving this, however when it’s time to get up early for a workout and make that healthy lunch for work you hit the snooze button, you find reasons why you don’t have time. It’s a paradox as you really believe in the benefits of a healthy lifestyle and every time you don’t keep your promise to get up and complete these tasks you wholeheartedly know to be essential for the life you want to live, you beat yourself up. And so, this cycle continues.
let me ask you a question
“Do you really have to do it or is it a choice that you are wanting to make?”
We have this interesting mindset of “I have to do it!”. But can you remember being a child and being told you have to do thing, perhaps make your bed or do your homework and you just wanted to rebel about being told what to do. Well, that notion is the same when we speak to our self. It is still a voice, albeit our own, telling us what to do – so we want to rebel. We find excuses and reasons why we can’t do the thing, even though we want to do it, all because of this negative self-talk.
It's your choice
If it is a choice to get up early so you can work out, be healthy and fit for the longevity of the life you want to lead – then that does seem like a decision you are making. When we change our self-talk into positive confirmation “I want to work out – this is my choice” there is a switch in your mind that becomes excited to complete the task. It’s something you want to do, and when we want to do something, we usually become motivated through the energy it gives us. Happiness takes over.
"Pride becomes present and success taste sweet."
There is something so profoundly beautiful and satisfying when you complete your goal, when you can cross that item off the list – the item you said you were going to do. Pride becomes present and success taste sweet. That feeling of the imposter syndrome starts to dissipate as we start seeing that our word is true. When we can’t keep promises to ourselves then how can we hold others to a standard we can’t even meet. The trick is stepping back and seeing the picture. Why are you ‘wanting’ to do the task?
What is the reward you’re given when you accomplish this goal? When you have the motivation towards the end goal the smaller daily commitments you make will bring you closer each and every day. But the best gift that will come from all of it, is not reaching the goal – is the knowledge that you did what you said you were going to do for yourself. You knew that you were worthy enough to accomplish the daily tasks. This is the biggest contribution you can invest in yourself. So, really take your time and understand what motivates you, what is the big picture, and why do you want to achieve this?
Ensure compassion is along for the ride
When it comes to commitments we make to improve our lives and transform into the best version of ourselves – we must commit with compassion. As you know there are darker days and brighter days and holding a safe space with compassion will allow soft and kind words of encouragement to come through. That old saying “you catch more bees with honey” rings true when speaking to yourself with kindness and compassion.
Promises to yourself only succeed when they are positive in nature. Stop the put downs, and instead show a softer side. We can keep our commitments and truly succeed ensuring compassion is along for the ride.